I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize