Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.

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(325): View more from Texas

Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...

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(217): View more from Illinois

getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am

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(209): View more from California

She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.

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(661): View more from California

Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�

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(813): View more from Florida

I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.

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(310): View more from California

I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected

(1-310): View more from California

Only you would come out as bi like that

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(850): View more from Florida

His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises

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