Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
