I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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