Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize