it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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