he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
