What did we do last night that was yellow?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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