he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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