We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
