On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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