Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
