did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He passed out mid-signature
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
