Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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