Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
