Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
