She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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