I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
