Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
