The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
