I'm eating all of the evidence.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
