I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
No subtext here. People are naked.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
