great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
