Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize