Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
