And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
