I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
