I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
