He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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