I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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