ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
