i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
COCAINE IS GR8
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
