I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
That was an excessively violent trivia night
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
