the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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