I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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