I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
