and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
So squirting runs in the family.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
