At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
