3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
