so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
