it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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