you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
