Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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