Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
