Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
