If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
