he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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