I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
