He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
