so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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