in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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