i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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