So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
