I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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