dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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