This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
