I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
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