yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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