Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
