just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you didnt know i had herpes?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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