Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

How bad was it?

(1-713): View more from Texas

You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.

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(480): View more from Arizona

Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.

(1-480): View more from Arizona

Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?

(480): View more from Arizona

You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1

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(203): View more from Connecticut

our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.

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(770): View more from Georgia

I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..

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(330): View more from Ohio

I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.

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