Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Screwed.edu
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
