My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
