The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
