i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
