arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
