You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
