she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
