the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
