walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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